You ever try to shake the hand of the person you lost a job to?
Not literally (though maybe sometimes that actually happens) but I did not too long ago and I never heard back.
Was I expecting a reply to my remarks? Not really but...you kind of expect a 'something,' right?
Lemme back up to the beginning.
A while ago, I was one of the finalists for a pretty sweet, recurring gig. It was the type of thing that probably could have taken my voiceover career to another level. Bonus: it was a series of scripts that were very tongue-in-cheek and related to an interest of mine. And, oh yeah, it was paid!
In the end, I didn't get it and it went to another guy. I was a little jealous and in the mindset of 'well, I could have done it better!'
But I got over it pretty quickly.
Over the years since, my career and his both flourished and grew.
Flash to about 4 weeks ago, I was reminded of this person and thought, 'I think I'll reach out and give him a hello and a 'good to see you're doing well" type of message. I genuinely felt like congratulating him. I very humbly mentioned that I was the other guy up for the job he landed but mostly it was a 'hey, thought I'd say hi.' type of message. And his response?
crickets.
No response at all. Now, I don't know if his lack of reply was because my message landed in his spam box (it was through the contact form on his site, so I don't think it was that) or if he read it and thought I was being some sort of passive-aggressive jerk (again, I was very humble and kind and giving of praise so I don't think it was that). Or maybe he's just super-busy. I've seen emails/messages, meant to reply to them but lost track of time and/or got busy with life/career crap and, lo and behold, I end up responding 2 months after the fact. I might never know, and that's okay.
So why am I telling this story? To complain about not getting a response? No. Not even.
Because it costs nothing to put good vibes out there. It can't hurt to give someone some kudos even if they were your 'competition.' Now, if they were assholes, then time to move on with life, right?
But if they were normal people just plugging along, doing their thing, then what's the hurt in sending good vibes?
Am I little bummed that I never heard back? Yeah but I didn't really think I would anyway. It would have been nice as you can never have too many friends or people in your corner in life but, nay, 'twas not meant to be I guess.
But I feel good in that I was able to genuinely tell someone I thought they were doing a good job (in a non-condescending way) and that I wish them the best because I know that somewhere, somehow, that good 'juju' will come back on me.
So, maybe force yourself to congratulate someone, praise them or just a little compliment. It's completely free and you might end up making someone's day.